Sunday, March 19, 2017

this game does not exist

For the last few days the thinky portions of my consciousness has been hyper-focused on a couple of presentations I did on Friday, so I haven't really had any game thoughts.  Last night this resulted in a pretty vivid but weird dream about a game.  I dreamed that I attended a convention and got to participate in a demo with the creator of a new minis game.  The game was called MORP.  If that is an acronym for anything, I didn't get that info   The guy who made the game called the figures/units in the game Morps.  All caps indicates the name of the game.  You play MORP with your friends, put you push a Morp around the table.

MORP is set in an ambiguous sci-fi post-apoc future where the world map is dotted with thousands of round/ovoid lakes that don't appear on real world maps.  The author explained that in the setting fluff no one remembers if those were cause by the nuclear war or the meteor strikes.  He acknowledged that this was just an excuse to set nearly every battle either on the edge of a lake, with a big ol' lake on the map, or actually on/under the water.  A whole chapter of the rulebook was devoted to lake/lakeside special rules.  You know how some designers just have that special itch they got to scratch?  Bruce Cordell and psionics.  S. John Ross and cooking.  James Raggi and ruining your life.  This guy's game design fetish was lakes.

The rulebook was an interesting object.  It was spiral bound, but at the top of the page rather than the left side.  The pages were stiff, thin plastic sheets or laminated.  And they were cut on the right edge of the page with chapter tabs always visible, like some dictionaries do.  Without every mentioning who they were talking about, an appendix gave complete rules for converting your 40K and WHFP figures to MORP standards.  After that was an appendix devoted to building MORP stats for any miniature you care to use in the game, based solely on what the figure looks like.

The game was new and the designer had managed to only get a few official figures manufactured.  He had two factions painted up on the table.  The first were these cyberpunk guys that looked like Duke Nukem but with trench coats and heads sprouting electronics gear.  The other were these anime girls in skimpy bunny costumes.  All their guns were shaped like bananas.  The author handed me a flamethrower trooper to inspect.  Imagine Omaha the Cat Girl but a pink bunny costume holding a big yellow 'nana with a hose to a fuel tank strapped on her back.

Yeah.